This should fix everything

I just got done emailing this to pokerstars...

Dear Pokerstars,

It has been brought to my attention that the reason for my most recent downswing on your site has been that my doomswitch has been activated for some reason. I have been a very loyal customer for a few years now, and have done nothing but create tons of rake for you, and in return, after posting my biggest month ever, i am now on a sickening losing streak. At first, i thought it might just be bad play, but this is not the case (i'm still on a roll on a rival site when i play there). The only logical conclusion i can come too, is that my doomswitch must have "accidently" been flicked on (maybe you were reaching for lesmurphy8's doomswitch, and hit mine instead). I'm not asking you to turn on my boomswitch or anything like that, just please turn off my doomwitch, and we'll call it even. I think this is fair for both of us, beause if i continue to run like ASS on your site, i will have no choice but to bring my play to a rival site, and we both end up losers in the end.

Thank you for your time, and i hope to log on tomorrow and not run into set over set, flush over flush or have my opponets hit anymore 2 outers when all the money is in the middle. Thank you and have a good night.

Lesmurphy7